The Pie Report

So we're a quarter of the way through this great adventure already and it's only the 28th August.

After reading comments from Callum requesting photographic evidence of the various clubs' Pies, I've realised that the Pie Report is an important part of the blog. So I've decided to give you a run down, a top to bottom run down if you like, of those on offer so far. Next week I'll try and remember to take a photo of our half-time nourishment for you Callum.

Now these comments are based on my father's comments, so if anyone from any of the grounds is reading this, don't get too upset; unless you work for Hibernian Football Club, ya pie dodging tightwads!!

The Pie Report league table:
1. Aberdeen FC - £1.70

'The best yet'

8/10

2. Motherwell - £1.70

'The crust is almost perfect, temperature is spot on and the meaty based filling is not too salty'

7.5/10

3. Alloa Athletic - £1.00

'It is by far the best value for money pie yet but it's not quite a Motherwell Pie'

7/10

4. Elgin City - £1.30

'It is a good pie but it's not quite a Motherwell pie'

7/10

5. Ross County - £1.70

'The best pie yet'

7/10

6. Dumbarton - £1.35

'A good sized meaty based affair'

7/10

7. Annan Athletic - £1.20

'Marked down for the hard crust'

6/10

8. St.Mirren - £1.70

'A disappointing affair with a soggy bottom'

6/10

9. Stranraer - £1.20

'The crust is rock hard, it could probably sink a battleship'

5/10

10. Peterhead - £1.50

'Tiny, with a soggy bottom'

4.5/10

11. East Fife - £1.50

'Unusual with a Steak Pie crust and excessively salty filling'

4/10

12. Hibernian - £2.40!!

Can't give you a comment on quality as unbelievably at half time on the first game of the season, they ran out of pies at Easter Road.

0/10.

Day Twelve: St.Mirren (St.Mirren Park)

St.Mirren v Hibernian

Sunday 29th August (2.15pm Kick-off)

After the excitement and ultimate disappointment of yesterday's game at Pittodrie, I'll admit to feeling a little jaded this morning when I woke up and realised I was off to watch Hibernian for the third time this season. Which of their teams will turn up today - the lack luster team that fell down to Maribor or the team who played so well in the second half at Motherwell.

It's a noon start for the drive over to Paisley for the 2.15pm kick. We arrive at the newish St.Mirren park, situated a mere 300 yards from their old ground, Love Street, at about 1.15ish. We chill out in the car reading the Sunday Mail - that quality non-old firm biased paper. I normally like to spend time reading the sports section but can't stand the thought of reading about yesterdays game so I don't bother. It's good of my dad then to show me the pictures of his team celebrating their winning goal.

They've got a strange set up at St.Mirren whereby you need to buy a ticket before you get to the turnstiles. It's nice to see that my dad doesn't have to prove his age here. It's only once we're inside the ground that I realise we've forgotten to buy a programme. I approach one of the stewards on duty and ask if I can buy one in the ground, he kindly tells me that the programmes 'haven't been delivered yet but hopefully they'll turn up before kick off'.

We soften the blow by buying a pre-match pie. It's a disappointing affair with a soggy bottom, the worst SPL effort yet. No scratch that, at least they offered something unlike their opponents today.

We go to take our seat in the ground - which only has a capacity of 8,006 by the way and as my dad said 'it looks like it's made of Lego' - and find seat N 18 to be covered in pigeon poo. Some people say it's lucky to get splatted with this but we're taking no chances and sit elsewhere.

Looking round the ground we can see a few large flags up behind one of the goals in the St.Mirren end, one catches our eyes however. There's a Leeds branch of St.Mirren supporters, that's about a 450 mile round trip and pure dedication.

Thankfully the programmes have arrived and I buy one and on flicking through the pages see that there are four mascots at the game today, three for the home team and one for the away team. The youngest of which is only one and a half years old and, according to the programme, her favourite player is Garry Brady. During the warm up they all get introduced to the ground - ain't that sweet.

Whilst some of the Hibs players are still warming up the sprinklers come on and give them a pre-game soaking, seems a tad harsh.

After all this, the games pretty slow to get started but it's Hibs who are first to threaten from a Riordan corner but Sol Bamba's header is high and wide. St.Mirren are next to threaten after ten minutes when after Bamba held back Wardlaw, McAusland tries a speactacular effort from almost on the touchline.

Both sets of fans are in fine voice, but for some bizarre reason they've still got the P.A. system on. Eventually they realise and turn it off. Hibs have most of the chances in the first half and Riordan is unlucky to see his free kick float over the wall and just wide of the post. The ball rubs along the outside of the net and from where the Hibs fans are sitting they think it's gone in and start to celebrate, only to be shouted back down by the laughing home fans. Riordan has two further free kicks that are saved well by the keeper.

Wardlaw was then crunched twice in succession and both times the tackles went unpunished, much to the annoyance of the player, his team mates, the home fans and the Saints manager Danny Lennon, who's given a wee lecture from the fourth official and then the ref when he's still moaning. Minutes later he's even unhappier when Wardlaw gets booked for a wild kick at Bamba, 'revenge' stamped all over his challenge. The home fans are raging and give the ref a burst of 'You don't know what you're doing!'.

The game was still level at half time and we went for another pie. I'll have to cut down on the double pie ratio, it's not like I've got the six-pack stomach you see. We decide on moving seats as there wasn't much banter round about us in the previous half. We should have sat in the opposite stand as it's much more boisterous than the family stand we're currently in. It's a learning curve this trip you see, next time we won't make the same mistake.

The second half starts and it's clear to all there are still a few grudges as a result of first half challenges. Bamba and Wardlaw are the two main culprits, both of them show some good touches throughout the game though. Bamba is otherwise excellent at clearing his lines and has an eye for a good pass. Wardlaw plays the sort of Peter Crouch type of game, he's always flicking the ball on for others or holding the ball under pressure and waiting for team mates.

It's ultimately a challenge between these two that leads to the first goal. Bamba climbs all over the back of Wardlaw as they both go for a high ball on the half way line, yet again he escapes a booking. Brady takes the kick, it's flicked on and it falls to Craig Dargo, who makes no mistake and slots it home for St Mirren.

With half an hour there's still time for Hibs to come back into this. Nish goes close with a shot on the turn from a throw in, and Liam Miller hits the top of the roof with an effort that's not a cross or a shot. The Hibs fans are outraged to see that John Hughes solution to being a goal behind and with ten minutes to go is to sub their favourite player, Derek Roirdan. They then give him a louder burst of 'You don't know what your doing!!', they're braver than me having a pop at Yogi.

The game finishes one nil to the saints and this condemns Hibs to their second defeat of the season but lifts St.Mirren into the top half of the table. As I said previously, this is our third viewing of Hibs this season and at this rate they'll be phoning us and asking to stay away.

The Statistics

Ticket: £20 (£10)

Programme: £2.50

Attendance: 4,480

Pie: £1.70

Pie Marks: 6 out of 10

Man of the Match: Dad - Paul McGowan Me - Gareth Wardlaw

Final Score: St.Mirren 1 - Hibernian 0

Mileage: 84 miles

Fact of the Day: St.Mirren have the newest stadium in Scotland. They played their first game there on the 15th January 2009.

Next game: Palmerston Park (September 4th)

Day Eleven: Aberdeen (Pittodrie Stadium)

Aberdeen v Kilmarnock
Saturday 28th August (3pm Kick-off)

So the grudge match day has arrived, it's time for my team, Aberdeen, to play my dad's team, Kilmarnock. It's a case of top v bottom. Aberdeen's 100% record versus Kilmarnock 0% record in the SPL this season. It's only game 3 of the 2010/11 season mind so there's only the six points between us.

It's a big day for me and Emma too, seeing as this is the first time she will be joining me watching my beloved team. I don't think she's quite as excited as me to be honest, she'd have been happier if my mother had joined her for a shopping experience instead aha ha.

The three of us leave Edinburgh at 11.15am for the journey north to Aberdeen. It's only a 2 1/2hr journey to Aberdeen so we've given ourselves enough time to get there. Nae surprises there then. It's an easy drive although the roads are pretty busy up to and beyond Perth, it's unlikely it's hoards of Killie fans heading to Aberdeen though.

We arrive in the Granite city about 1.45pm and park up on the Esplanade beside the Kings Links Golf Course, this gives Emma her first glimpse at Aberdeen's ground. We sit in the car and have lunch looking out on to the North Sea. Those of you who know Emma will be well aware of her problems when it comes to portion control, this is something which my Dad manages to wind her up on by commenting that the standard of filling in the sandwiches 'is slipping'.

Anyway at 2.15pm we take the short walk to the ground. It's weird to wave goodbye to my dad outside the ground as he's off to sit in the away end with the other Kilmarnock fan. Emma and I take the opportunity to visit the Club shop as I've got birthday money to spend. Takes me ages to decide what to get - should I go for the home strip, away strip or the full body suit. In the end I settle on the traditional home top for me and a 'Stand Free' Aberdeen scarf. Once outside the shop I'm so eager to get the top on that it takes me 5 minutes to realise it's still got the bloody tags on it. What a chump!

We buy our tickets and take the long trek up to the top deck of the Richard Donald Stand. By the time we find our seats we find we're in the second back row of the stadium and we can see the whole of Aberdeen from our seats.

Kilmarnock, as per usual, seem to have brought only two busloads of supporters with them but I must compliment them on their singing voices as it sounds like there's about a thousand of them.

Aberdeen are quickly into their stride when the game starts and are first to threaten when Pawlett shoots straight at the Killie keeper after a nice lay back from Magennis. It takes a quarter of an hour for the away team to have their first effort with Hamill blasting a free-kick over the bar. Shortly after this we have the first substitution of the day when the referee decides the ball's too flat.

A Paul Hartley free kick is deflected in front of the keeper who spills the ball right in front of McArdle, who really should've scored. After seeing a good Aberdeen on Tuesday night I was expecting more from them and it was disappointing to see them revert back to the sort of football they were playing last season with lots of sideways balls and lack of urgency to play it forward.

Kilmarnock on the other hand were playing the ball over the top of the slow Aberdeen defence for their striker Conor Sammon and he almost scored when he broke free in the penalty box and his shot seemed to squirm under the dive of the keeper and McArdle had to clear the ball off the line.

The normally boisterous Aberdeen support are very quiet and even the Killie fans sing the 'Sheep-Shaggers' song fails to rouse them. It's not really turning out to be the great game I was hoping it would be for Emma's first visit. Fingers crossed we get a bit more excitement for the second 45 minutes and the Aberdeen fans find their voices. At half-time I take the time to sample the 'Pittodrie Pie' and it's not a bad effort. I can't however tempt Emma into sampling one of the vegetarian options available.

We take the opportunity to wander right down to the front of the stand to see if we can see my dad sitting in the away section adjacent to us. We can see him but despite some frantic waving, it takes a phone call to his mobile before he can pinpoint our position. Both of us agree that it's been a fairly dull game so far but he does give me his rating for the pie and surprisingly he's awarded it an 8 out of 10. I ask him if he's sure as this will take Aberdeen to the top of the Pie League, his response is 'yes, I realise this but you've got to be honest about these things'.

For the second half we move from up in the gods to the front rows of the upper deck. Aberdeen are again the first to threaten when Mackie beats two defenders in the box and shoots, a deflection takes it wide of the post and out for a corner. This finally rouses the Aberdeen fans from their slumber a fact that doesn't go unnoticed by the Kilmarnock faithful who give us a quick burst of 'We forgot that you were here'.

Kilmarnock come more and more into the game with some slick passing and great movement off the ball, Craig Bryson especially looks like a good player. This prompts the Aberdeen manager to try a double substitution bringing on Vernon and the 18 year old Megginson for Magennis and Maguire - the latter reacts by refusing to shake his managers hand and throwing his shin-pads to the floor like a petulant child.

With quarter of an hour to go Kilmarnock's David Da Silva plays a fantastic ball through to Sammon who finds himself one on one with the keeper, he shoots and Aberdeen's keeper does brilliantly to tip it round the corner. Aberdeen are holding on now and Kilmarnock look like a team at the top of the table and not the bottom. With ten minutes left Hamell lets fly from 30 yards and it looks destined to end up in the top corner only for Howard to fling himself to his right and tip it over the bar. From the resulting corner Mackie clears a Sissoko header off the line.

A quick break from Aberdeen sees Mackie burst into the box and just as he's about to pull the trigger he's bundled off the ball. I join in the thousands of Dons fans behind the goal in screaming for a penalty. The referee gives the right decision and awards a corner to Aberdeen instead. It really would've been a soft penalty.

It looks like the game is going to end up in a draw as the fourth official signals there will only be three minutes injury. Calamitous defending from the Aberdeen keeper however gifts the winner to Hamell with only sixty seconds left. A ball over the top of the Aberdeen defence and it looks like Meginnson will be first to the ball, he hesitates however as Howard comes rushing off his line and in nips Jamie Hamell to take the ball of them both and stroke it into the empty net.

There's no time for Aberdeen to get back into the game and when the referee blows the whistle for full time Aberdeen walk off to a chorus of boo's.

I look over to the Kilmarnock fans and see my dad jumping around like a 17 year old. I can't be happy for him obviously. I'm gutted, not only have we lost and we're no longer top of the table but I've just realised who's giving me a lift back to Edinburgh. True to his word he's waiting for Emma and I outside the ground with a smug grin on his face.

I can't really take this moment from him though as his team were the better side and on the balance of play probably deserved the three points. Revenge will be mine (fingers crossed) on November 27th when we go to Rugby Park for the return fixture.

Emma, who was supposed to be my lucky mascot, is barred from visiting Pittodrie as she's obviously a jinx.

The Statistics
Ticket: £22 (£16) - As a quick side note it was pleasing to hear my dad state that the turnstile operator asked to see his driving so he could prove he was actually an OAP.
Programme: £2.50
Attendance: 11,287
Pie: £1.70
Pie Marks: 8/10 - Top marks so far
Man of the Match: Dad -Ben Gordon Me - Craig Bryson (both Kilmarnock)
Final Score: Aberdeen 0 - Kilmarnock 1
Mileage: 258 miles
Fact of the Day: Pittodrie Stadium was the first stadium to feature a dugout, when in the 1920's Player-Coach Donald Colman wanted a place to take notes and observe his players without sacrificing the shelter provided by the grandstand.

Next Game: St.Mirren Park (August 29th)

Day Ten: Alloa Athletic (Recreation Ground)

Alloa Athletic v Aberdeen

Tuesday 24th August (7.45pm Kick-off)

CIS Insurance Cup: 2nd Round

The day has finally arrived: we're off to see the mighty Aberdeen for the first time this season! It's going to be interesting to see how all the new signings Mark McGhee has made have helped us to the heady heights of SPL leaders.

So far on this adventure it's just been my dad and me, and each time we've sat in with home fans. Well not tonight; not only we will be in with the away supporters, we've also been joined by a friend of mine, Anthony, who like me is a fellow Don. I'll try and be true to the cause though and include all the usual ramblings of mine, my father's and the crowd.

As it's a school day, my dad comes to meet us at work at 4.45pm. Apparently we're leaving this early because of the 'rush-hour traffic' in Edinburgh and the fact 'it can sometimes take 45 mins to get across town'. Not today however as we're on our way past Edinburgh airport at 5.15pm. We arrive in Alloa at 6pm. A full 1 hour and 45 minutes before the game kicks off!! No sandwiches this evening, I couldn't be bothered carrying a cool bag to work so it's the safety of a Morrison's sandwich rather than risk a visit to the local McDonalds.

The Alloa website informed us that the turnstiles would be opening at 6.45pm to deal with the expected large away support. Anthony is eager to ensure we get a prime viewing position so we wander over to the ground at 6.30.

We've got a bit of time so I go to take the obligatory photo of the ground; you know the one just to prove we were there. I'm denied a photo of the main entrance by a jobsworth steward, who takes one look at my Aberdeen scarf and tells "this end is just for home fans". It's left to a young Alloa fan to point out the huge sign that runs along the outside of the stadium as the best photo on offer. Cheers wee man!

By the time the gates open it's after 7pm. It's heartening to see the honesty of the Aberdeen support as a few of them sneak their way into the ground via the Concession gate. Grown men pretending to be older and 18 year olds pretending to be even younger. The ticket price of £15 did seem a bit steep and the concession ticket was only £8 you see. A boy in the queue inside to buy a programme was chatting to his mate saying "She [turnstile operator] tried to tell me I didnae look 16, mare like 18, so i told her 'no, I'm 16 honest'". He then reminds his pal it's his 19th birthday in next month.

As soon as we got through the turnstiles we were greeted by the site of a dozen or so portable toilets. You pay £15 to get in and in return they offer you the chance to watch your team play on a plastic pitch whilst you stand on an uncovered terracing and have the use of exclusive toilet facilities.

We wander towards the tiny makeshift stand after take a quick detour to the pie van where are delighted to find that at £1, the Alloa pie is cheapest yet. It's a pretty decent effort too and your favorite food critic claims 'it is by far the best value for money pie yet, but it's not quite a Motherwell pie'. It does however mean that there are still funds left in the kitty for further nourishment later.

We end up standing behind the goal as I'd have been charged a further £2 to find a seat in the stand. That would have meant paying £17 in total - seems a bit step for a 2nd Division side.

The Alloa fans are first time stretch their vocal chords and we're treated a verse of 'You're only sheep shagging b*stards'. How original! Aberdeen fans have taken this insult to their hearts and clap in appreciation of this fine rendition from the home fans.

The home team started brightly and showed no sign of fear towards their SPL opponents. Despite the fact that their manager Allan Maitland is a die-hard Aberdeen fan, it looks like they are going to try to use Aberdeen's recent shocking performances against lower division sides in cup competitions to their advantage and have a real go tonight.

After 16 minutes the game is effectively over as a horribly short back pass from one of Alloa's defenders is latched onto by Aberdeen's Fraser Fyvie. He's straight through on goal, and takes it round the Alloa keeper Stephen Robertson, who retaliates by bringing him down. It's a surefire penalty and the referee has no real choice but to send him packing. The manager takes off one of his midfielders to bring on his reserve keeper. Aberdeen's Paul Hartley has the chance to score his fourth goal in three games for Aberdeen. He dispatches the ball with ease and we're one up.

Aberdeen spread the ball about with ease, making the most of the extra man. Fyvie and Maguire are seeing a lot of the ball and it's the former who, after beating two defenders, squares the ball for Maguire. With an open goal he should've doubled Aberdeen's lead, instead he boots it well over the bar much to the home fans delight and our horror.

Hartley then tried a cheeky lob off the keeper but it sailed just over the bar. Aberdeen did however score a second shortly afterwards when a Magennis header was saved by the keeper and with no defender able to clear the rebound, McArdle nodded the ball into the empty net.

A perfect first 45 minutes from Aberdeen was denied just on the stroke of half time when the excellent Fyfie seemed to twist his knee on the surface and was carried off. Let's hope it's nothing to serious as this 18 year old is destined to be a future star for Scotland. McGhee was unhappy with the playing surface prior to the game and left out one of his star players Aluko in case of this situation.

At half time we indulged in a second pie, and although the price hadn't changed, the quality had. Mine was a bit cold and my father complained that his was now pretty dry. Still, for a pound I couldn't really grumble. The stadium announcer punished the home fans even further by playing an Abba mega-mix for the full 15 minutes.

Aberdeen's midfield were in complete control in the second half, Yoann Folly and Hartley have finally brought back a bit of bite to our soft midfield. Aberdeen scored their third on the hour mark with a wonderful Maguire half-volley which from 25 yards lobbed the keeper and dipped under the bar. The keeper should have done better to be honest; it was another deceiving performance from Maguire who was full of running but made too many wrong decisions, selfish instead of playing the simple ball.

Zander Diamond was next to fall foul to the pitch and as Aberdeen had used all three subs the two teams entered the last 15 minutes with ten men each. Fair play to Alloa as they had two or three chances to get a consolation goal. The Aberdeen goalie who had been pretty quiet all night was alert to nip the ball of the toe of Stuart Noble with ten minutes left.

Darren Mackie missed a golden chance to add to the total, but had too much time to think about it and hit it straight at the keeper.

I must point out that the normally very vocal Aberdeen support have been very quiet tonight but just at the end we were treated to a solo performance of the dong of the night 'I'd rather shag a sheep than a Wasp'. Bloody brilliant.

The Statistics

Ticket: £15 (£8) An extra £2 each to sit in the stand

Programme: £1.50

Attendance: 1,649

Pie: £1.00

Pie Marks: 7/10

Man of the Match: Dad - Paul Hartley, Anthony - Yoann Folly, Me - Fraser Fyvie (All Aberdeen)

Final Score: Alloa Athletic 0 - Aberdeen 3

Mileage: 82 miles

Fact of the Day: Alloa Athletic were admitted to the Scottish Football League in 1921 and by the end of their first season were Division 2 Champions.

Next game: Aberdeen - Pittodrie Stadium (August 28th)

Meeting Willie Miller

This isn't a football report but I thought I should tell you anyway.

This afternoon I was out 'enjoying' the Edinburgh Festival and I had the pleasure of meeting my all time sporting hero - Mr Willie Miller, the captain of the all-conquering Aberdeen side of the 1980's. I almost walked past him and must thank my brother-in-law for pointing him out.

Honestly, I was like a love struck teenager as I thrust my hand out for him to shake it. All i could muster was a "Willie Miller, you are my hero". My girlfriend, who took the picture above, tells me that she thought I was never going to let go of his hand. I must have kept him there for five minutes talking about what a player he was and how we've made a great start to the season before he wrestled his hand free and re-joined his wife.

Should've told him about my blog and asked for tickets to the Kilmarnock game next weekend.

Day Nine: Elgin City (Borough Briggs)

Elgin City v East Stirlingshire

21st August (3pm Kick-off)

Second time this season we're off to watch East Stirlingshire away from home and it's another huge drive, this time to Elgin. As such it's been requested that I meet my dad at his house at 10.15am for the 170 mile drive north.

The drive up the A9 is uneventful but the drive from Granton-on-Spey up the A95 to Elgin was gorgeous. I if I ever win Euro Lotto I've seen a house or two up there that I could be more than happy in. We arrive in Elgin a mere 50 minutes before kick off, park up and tuck in to the pack lunch lovingly prepared this morning at early o'clock by Emma. After lunch we join the throngs flooding into Borough Briggs.

My dad tells me the last time he was here was back in '72 to watch his beloved Kilmarnock beat Elgin 4 - 1 in a Scottish Cup game. I hope this game gives us the same enjoyment that would have given him.

This looks like being the cheapest ground yet as it's only £8 for me and £4 for my dad. We take a wander around the ground trying to decide if we'll stand in the open behind either goal, under shelter on the terracing or sat in the stand. I was 38 last week and I'm getting on a bit so we decide on a seat in the stand.

On our way towards the stand we make a stop to buy a Pie. Turns out the Club Shop is located within the Pie stand. You can normally just get a pie, Bovril or Mars-Bar at the pie stand not here, here you can buy your Elgin City memorabilia. I doubt we'll find this anywhere else in Scotland. My dad awards this a 7 out of 10, "it's a good pie, but it's not quite up to the Motherwell pie last weekend".

As we try to take a seat in the stand, we're asked to pay a further £2 each for the privilege. Weird, why don't they just charge you £10 at the gates?

Sitting in the stand we see the same East Stirlingshire fans we saw at Annan and they're just as noisy. This time they've brought four or five of those vuvuzela horns with them, something the ground announcer has noticed "For all those away fans with those vuvuzela horns this is just for you" and he proceeded to play a war tune of sorts that finished with a flourish of machine gun noise - brilliant effort. Still it doesn't dampen the away fans' spirit, actually I think a few of them have been on the spirits already.

The game kicks off and we wait almost 20 minutes for the first attempt when a Craig Tully diving header goes just wide of the East Stirlingshire post. The first shot on target comes after 28 minutes. Riveting is not how I'd describe the football on show.

The home side missed a great chance to score on the stroke of half time when Inglis played a great ball into the box only for Crooks to blast the ball over from eight yards. Both managers are going to have to work some magic at half time to brighten up this game.

In the first minute of the second half a back pass by the away team's David Dunn is woefully short and Craig Gunn picks it up and, with a straight run in on goal, finishes it off by blasting the ball high and wide of the goal, it was a great chance to take the lead.

The next 30 minutes are pretty awful and it looks looks like we might be in for our first nil-nil draw. However, in the 77th minute the Elgin City keeper, Scott Bain, takes too long to clear a back pass and it's charged down by East Sirlingshire's Kelly. The keeper, who happens to be making his debut on loan from Aberdeen, brings him down and receives a yellow card for his troubles. No sooner has he picked himself up than he's picking the ball out the back of the net, as David Dunn sends him the wrong way. The home players are furious with the referee however as scorer does the 'stop start run up' before shooting. I'm sure this has been outlawed for this season and the kick should've been re-taken but the goal stands.

East Stirlingshire's second goal is a belter, a free kick from 30 yards from Jamie Stevenson which gave the keeper no chance and the away fans celebrate wildly. The only downside for the away team is the fact Paul Miller gets himself sent off in injury time for a second bookable offence. I can't actually tell what he did as it was an off the ball incident spotted only by the linesman. I can tell you that it had something to do with Elgin's Neil McDonald; he'd been winding up the away players for 90 minutes.

The game finishes two nil to East Stirlingshire and this result leaves Elgin rooted to the bottom of Division Three with no points from three games and a -8 goal difference. Looks like a long season ahead for them.

The Statistics
Ticket: £8 (£4) An extra £2 each to sit in the stand.

Programme: £2

Attendance: 602

Pie: £1.30

Pie Marks: 7/10

Man of the Match: Dad - Jake Inglis (Elgin City) Me - I can't think of one player who deserves this accollade

Final Score: Elgin City 0 - East Stirlingshire 2

Mileage: 370 miles

Fact of the Day: Elgin's ground is the most northern professional ground in Scotland

Next Game: Alloa - Recreation Park (August 24th)

Day Eight: Motherwell (Fir Park)

Motherwell v Hibernian

August 15th (12 noon Kick-off)

Nice easy 10.30am start today for the short journey over to Motherwell. A short walk to the ground and we arrive at Fir Park about a quarter of an hour before kick off for our first game of the new SPL season. I'm in a great mood after the Aberdeen result yesterday (that's the team I follow in case any of you didn't know). It's our first win at home on the opening day for sixteen years.It was also a record breaking day as Paul Hartley became the first player in the SPL to score a hat-trick on his debut. Sorry I'm getting off track but with facts like these I hope you forgive me.

We take our seat in the Motherwell end as close to the Hibs fans as possible without sitting in with the die-hard supporters. It doesn't take long for the singing to start with the Motherwell supporters belting out 'We're all going on a European tour' to the tune of The Beatles Yellow Submarine - a dig at the fact Hibs got knocked out of the Europa League whilst Motherwell are still in it.

For an opening game of the season it's a surprise to see that Hibs fans have only been given the lower half of the away stand and vast areas of the main stand empty. My dad, who's a fountain of knowledge for all things concerning Scottish football, tells me that back in 1962 Motherwell sold two players to Liverpool and with the money they received they decided to build a stand. They built the framework the full length of the pitch but homeowners behind the ground complained and Motherwell Council sided with them. As a result, Motherwell were only allowed to built it to 3/4's of it's original size (you can see the extra steel framework in the photo above) and it gets worse, as many Motherwell fans felt the money should have been spent on players, they refused to sit in the newly constructed stand. To this day many Motherwell fans still refuse to sit there.

On to your favourite part of the blog; the Pie Report. It seems that it's no longer a half time treat, although this time my Dad claims 'its lunchtime isn't it?' After the high scoring pie at Ross County yesterday, Motherwell have a lot to live up to - and they do just that. My dad scores it 7.5/10, making the Motherwell Pie jump to the top of the leaderboard. According to him 'the crust is almost perfect, temperature is spot on and the meaty-based filling is 'not too salty'.

The first half starts with a flourish and Anthony Stokes of Hibs is unfortunate to see the Motherwell keeper's big toe stick a 5th minute effort past the post. Motherwell come back into the game and are passing the ball around effortlessly on the newly relaid Motherwell pitch. They spent £350,000 on it two summers back and a further £100,000 on it this summer and they're rewarded with a 13th minute goal from John Sutton. This brought rapturous roars from the home fans and they continued to berate the away support with various takes on the aforementioned Europa League defeat suffered by Hibernian.

Motherwell were in complete control of the first half and, with the excellent play of Murphy and Humphrey, really should have capitalised on all their possession to have gone two or three up. As it was, in the second of the three added first half minutes, a Riordan free kick was headed down by Samba to Stokes who smashed the ball home. It was really against the run of play and probably undeserved. Would it however be a catalyst for a better Hibs performance in the second half?

We were treated to a number of half- time messages but to be honest I couldn't understand any of it as it was if the announcer had his foot stuck on a reverb. button and the sound echoed around the ground. The goal at the end of the half had finally woken the quiet away support and we were treated to the 'Hibees, Hibees' chant, the Motherwell supporters replying with the traditional 'Shite, Shite' response. Such wit I hear you say.

The second half started and it seemed as though whatever 'hair-dryer' treatment 'Yogi' Hughes had given his players seemed to work as Hibs came out much brighter than the previous half. Stokes should have scored only three minutes in but his curling drive was pushed round the post. The impressive Humphrey's then saw his cross-come-shot bounce back off the inside of the post for Motherwell.

Hibs then scored a contentious second from a Riordan corner, from where I and many irate Motherwell fans were sat it looked like the Motherwell keeper was blocked before a Hibs player (Hanlon) put it in with his hand. The referee who to his credit was a lot closer than me didn't see it this way and the goal stood.

Motherwell then had a stone wall penalty turn denied when Sutton was felled in the box. To the disgust of the home support Hibs promptly marched up the other end and Liam Miller scored a sweet third goal nutmegging the keeper in the process.

Motherwell were thrown a way back into the game two minutes later when the referee awarded a penalty, perhaps to make amends for the one he failed to give earlier and Jamie Murphy stepped up and scored. Where we going to be treated to another result similar to the last time these two teams played here - a six all draw!

Motherwell pushed forward to find the equalizer and it was surprising to see some home fans leaving with five minutes to go when their side were still in with a shout of the draw. There was however no goal to be found and Hibs left Fir Park with all three points.

All in all an enjoyable start to the SPL campaign and both of these sides played some good football, it's a shame they both didn't do it in the same half.

A final point must go to the SFA, who this week fined Motherwell £50,000 for the horrendous playing surface they've had here for the past two seasons, only to announce that £45,000 of

this would be suspended. What's the point in telling them off with 90% of the original figure?

The Statistics

Ticket Price: £18 (£14 concession)
Programme: £3

Attendance: 5172

Pie: £1.70

Pie Marks: 7.5/10

Man of the Match: Dad -Liam Miller (Hibernian) Me - Jamie Murphy (Motherwell)

Final Score: Motherwell 2 - Hibernian 3

Mileage: 70 miles

Fact of the Day: Oldest Manager in Scotland - Craig Brown 70 years young.

Next game: Elgin City - Borough Briggs (21st August)

Day Seven: Ross County (Victoria Park)

Ross County v Falkirk

14th August (3pm Kick-off)

So here we are for the longest drive of the campaign yet; hence the fact I've been summoned to my dad's house for an 9.30am start for the journey to Dingwall. I know you're all thinking the same thing - that's a bit early isn't it? Regular readers will know this is par for the course.

The drive north was lovely and I felt a warm glow in my stomach as Inverness came into view. I was born here you see, fair enough it was a wee while ago now but it was good to see the city looking so good. The drive out to Dingwall takes you past the Inverness Caledonian Thistle ground and it was crazy to see about fifty people standing just on the side of the road just trying to catch a glimpse of the Inverness CT v Celtic game.

We arrived in Dingwall about an hour before the game, but this time we put the extra time to good use and had a wander round town. A friend of mine - Blair - had recommended we find a butchers shop called 'Campbells' as their Haggis Pie is 'exceptional'. Alas we wandered up and down the High Street but couldn't see it. Shame, although we did have the pie at the ground to look forward to to soften the blow.

My dad continued his new tradition of having his pie before the football and was rewarded with what he described as the best pie yet, even better than the 7 out of 10 awarded to Stranraer. He told me he was going to return at half time for the Haggis Pie, I'll stick to the good old fashioned Scotch Pie.

As the teams were warming up my Dad enquired as to who the referee was, a quick check of the programme revealed it was Iain Brines. 'I thought so' said my dad 'he's a bloody useless pillock, we had him at Kilmarnock a few times last season' (my dad's a season ticket holder at Kilmarnock you see, in fact he's going to every Killie home game this season too- I have to draw the line somewhere) 'we'll be in from another dire performance today'.

And it so happens he was right. It was a poor game if I'm honest and I guess it had to come eventually. Neither side had any real control of the game for any sustained periods and it was littered with dirty challenges that went unpunished. Carl Finnegan of Falkirk was the main culprit and he could have been booked for many of the niggling challenges he made and eventually the Falkirk boss substituted him before he was sent off.

Ross County seemed happy to try and play the ball over the top of the Falkirk defence but time and time again the giant defenders were in full command. To be fair, Falkirk did try and pass it about a bit more but they didn't provide any real threat, this was until the referee awarded a ridiculously soft free kick and Ryan Flynn (back at the club after a brief spell at Liverpool) found space in the box and slotted home after 36 minutes.

At half time my dad kept his promise and dived down for the Haggis Pie 'looked better than it tasted'. We decided to move from our seats in the 'away fans' section of the stand as we were all alone. The away fans were stood behind the goals and the home fans occupied the rest of the stand. We moved up the back to an area with lots of empty seats and soon discovered that the reason it was so quiet is because you can't actually see one of the goals, so we moved again, 3 seat changes in one game, and found ourselves sat in the brilliant sunshine.

It was, however, a very poor second half of football, made all the worse by an old man stood not far from us who seemed to have tourettes as all he shouted was 'Come on County' over and over and over...

The game finished with Falkirk victorious. Falkirk are considered by many to be the favourites to win the SFL League 1 title this season but I think they'll have to improve a fair bit to fulfil that.

Here's hoping the second game of this weekend's double header at Fir Park tomorrow turns out to be better than this dross.

The Statistics

Ticket Price: £14 (£10)

Programme: £2

Attendance: 2387

Pie: £1.70

Pie Marks: 7/10 - Best yet according to my father.

Man of the Match: Dad - Kenny Deuchar (Falkirk) Me - Scott Boyd (Ross County)

Final Score: Ross County 0 - Falkirk 1

Mileage: 326 miles

Fact of the Day: Smallest town in Scotland to have a professional league side. Population of Dingwall is around 5000.

Next Game: Motherwell - Fir Park (August 15th)

Day Six: East Fife (Bayview Stadium)

East Fife v Stirling Albion
10th August (7.45pm kick off)

First midweek adventure out of the City: picked up from work to travel across the Bridge to Methil. It took us almost as long to get over the Bridge as it did the rest of the journey - couldn't do this every day.

Still, we managed to negotiate our way through the Kingdom of Fife, without any problems, to East Fife's new ground 'Bayview Stadium', arriving 45 minutes before kick-off. Time to take some photo's of the disused power station sat right in front of the stadium. Must be the only ground in Scotland with one of these on the door step.

So we're here for the 2nd round of the ALBA Challenge Cup between East Fife and Stirling Albion. I feel as though i should be supporting Stirling seeing as my two nephews (Boyd and Max) recently bought shares to help keep the club afloat, but it's the home end we find ourselves sitting in. The Stadium announcer read out the two teams and then the two ball boys. In 30 odd years of watching football I've never heard the ball boys being named for the masses before. Weird.

Having been caught out a few times now by woefully short pie supply, my dad has promoted the pie tasting element of this adventure from half time to 'as soon as we get through the turnstiles'.I'll wait and have it as the more traditional half time nourishment. Good thing too, as it seems Egon Ronay beside me feels his pie as 'very unusual with it's Steak Pie crust and excess salty filling, I'd give it one less than the Stranraer effort'. That'll be a four out of ten then!

We take our place in the stand, surrounded by season ticket holders, and it's a bright start by the home side as Byrne scores after only 3 minutes. It's a cracking opening to the game and 2nd division East Fife are playing much better football than their 1st division opponents. East Fife's player manager Stevie Crawford (he of many clubs including Hibs, Millwall and Aberdeen) is having a cracking game.

Having visited a couple of smaller clubs now, I feel the disappointing thing about the small one-sided stadiums is the lack of banter between the two sets of fans, as the away fans are stuck away in the far corner, out of your line of sight.

Slowly, Stirling force their way back into the game and are rewarded on the half hour with a goal straight from a corner by Devine. The East Fife keeper had a 'mare to be honest and this wasn't the first mistake he made and the home crowd made their feelings very clear on his performance; although not as clear as their feelings towards the near-side linesman, who had a complete shocker! How he missed the Stirling centre forward aiming a kick at East Fife's central defender I've no idea, if he or the ref had seen it it would've been a straight red card. It's funny to see the match officials are sponsored by SpecSavers!!

The second half was a great 45 minutes of football. East Fife, and particularly Johnson, Crawford and Linn, were playing some great football. East Fife scored 4 minutes into the half and controlled the second half. Stirling just had no answer to their more incisive opponents and East Fife should have been three or four in front by the time we heard the first chant of the evening from either set of fans - a rousing version of 'In your Cowdenbeath slums'.

The game finished with a flourish of substitutes from both teams and with almost his first touch of the ball East Fife's Cargill finished off a great passing move on 88 minutes. You would think this would be greeted by a roar of approval, but truth be told the home fans got a little nervy, well you would after throwing away a two goal lead in their last two games. The referee put everyone at ease a few minutes later with the final whistle.

All in all a great night out, four goals a good game and a fly over from a fighter jet on it's way home to RAF Leuchars. You don't get that at every game.

Dammit! Didn't manage to squeeze in 'Methil no more'...

The Statistics
Ticket Price: £13 (£7 concession)
Programme: £1.50
Attendance: 512
Pie: £1.50
Pie Marks: 4/10
Man of the Match: Stevie Crawford (East Fife)
Final Score: East Fife 3 - Stirling Albion 1
Mileage: 75 miles
Fact of the Day: Closest ground to a disused Power Station

Next game: Ross County - Victoria Park (14th August)