Day Sixteen: Forfar (Station Park)

Forfar v Airdrie United

SFL Division 2

Saturday 25th September

Today I've been dropped off at my dad's house for a 12 noon set off time on the journey to Forfar. Thanks must go to Emma for making a short detour off her adventure weekend to deliver me on time. She's off up to Loch Tay for a weekend of hill walking and kayaking - I'll take my excitement in the form of 90 minutes of football thank you.

Today we've got complimentary tickets via a Ford colleague my sister, Isla, knows. Duncan Ferguson . I've been forewarned that that we'll be going into his showroom so I should dress smartly. I'm shocked therefore to find my old man's wearing a rugby style polo shirt.

Driving north, we see a lot of people standing on the bridges crossing the motorway but we've no idea why. Just short of the Dollar junction we see three Police motorbikes in the other lane and think it must be a V.I.P being escorted to an engagement but turns out it's a convoy of motorbikes of all shapes and sizes.They are three abreast on the road and at their cruising speed stretch out for about 2 miles. I've never seen anything like it.

We pull into Glenfords garage on the outskirts of Forfar about 1.30pm and introduce ourselves to Mr Ferguson. He kindly offers to make us a cuppa and whilst he nips out the back we admire the huge painting of a Volkswagen Beetle on the wall - seems strange for a Ford garage.

Anyway Duncan returns with the hottest cup of tea ever, takes me a while to muster the courage to take a drink. It seems Duncan is the man to know as he's very kindly offered to get us tickets for all the games within the Angus region. That's Montrose, Brechin and Arbroath taken care of then.

We make our good-byes and drive around to park near the ground and have a quick bite to eat before walking round to the park. It's market day in Forfar and you can hear the auctioneer even as you walk into the ground.

Duncan has advised us that if we sit in the stand we should make sure we sit in the front row, as any further back and your line of vision is hampered and you won't see the nearside touchline. After we've found our optimal viewing position I dive down to the local club shop and pick up a pin badge for my dad before buying us both a pre-match pie. Forfar is famed for it's Bridie but we decide to try the traditional pie first and save the bridie till half time.

It's a high scoring effort at Forfar, my dad awards this an eight out of ten as it's 'not too greasy or salty, the crust is crunchy and the temperature just right'. An eight out of ten means it draws level with the Aberdeen pie at the top of the table. We finish just as the home team run out to the theme song from the movie Local Hero.

Looking at the programme you can see that the Forfar are three points clear of their opponents today and also that Airdrie's side is made up of a lot of young loan signings and players under twenty years old. I wonder how they'll get on today.

It's Airdrie who are first into the attack as Tony Watt, who's only sixteen years old, skips past three defenders and only a great dive and strong right hand by the Forfar keeper, Gallacher keeps it out. Airdrie's McCulloch is the first name into the referee's book when he gets a deserved yellow for flying through a Forfar midfielder.

It's a promising opening spell and although we've not yet had any songs, there's a fair bit of banter between the fans. Here at Forfar there doesn't seem to be a specific home / away end as fans are all mingling in together. Even so the only voice we can here is that of Airdrie manager, Boyle, as he screams instructions at his players, he did this all game and must surely be necking throat syrup now as a rescue remedy.

Airdrie are on top and Scott Gemmill skips past a challenge on the wing and crosses, McCord's shot is cleared off the line. It is then totally against the run of play when Forfar take the lead. A hopeful cross is turned behind for a corner and it's from this that Bolochoweckyj heads home. From where we were sitting it looked like the Airdrie keeper had been blocked, but there weren't any complaints from the away side and the goal was given.

Airdrie's young side still played some lovely football and Watt especially looks like he has a fantastic future ahead of him. He's come up through their youth system so hopefully he'll make some decent money for them in a few years time. Gemmill went close to the equaliser with a volley that just cleared the crossbar on the half hour and moments later good work by Airdrie presented them with a great chance. A desperate saving challenge by Bishop snuffed out the danger.

The two blokes beside us are tuned into the football news on their radio and we hear murmurings that City are one up versus Chelsea and my dad passes on this nugget he heard from the older of the two gents - 'You know, between them Man City and Chelsea have spent about £500 million on players and yet we managed to rebuild our stadium for only £50,000'. I should've asked him what they would of done with the other £499,950,000.

Half time comes and it's a quick nip down to the pie stand for the famous Forfar Bridie for us. Unbelievably in the home of the Forfar Bridie and with the Bakers shop only 200 yards from the ground they've run out of both pies and bridies. Apparently the baker didn't deliver enough, with the news of this bombshell my dad decides to deduct 0.5 from the previous score awarded. We don't win the half time jackpot draw and £176 makes it's way into a lucky supporters pocket. We are also asked to 'help oot a young laddie in the ground who's only gone and lost his bus pass'.

The second half begins and it's Airdrie who continue in the same vein as the first, nice crisp passing, first into the challenges and creating the chances. The first of the chances falls to Airdrie and it's Bishop again who makes a brilliant stop. This time he's injured himself and he has to be substituted for his bravery.

A rare bit of good work by the giant Forfar striker Templeman and his turn and shot goes narrowly wide of the post. It's straight back up the other end of the park and Gemmill fires a volley straight at the keeper. There's more goals in this game to come. Sure enough, twenty minutes into the second half and good work down the line and McCord has time to control it before smashing home from close range. The impressive Watt had another chance to score when again one on one with the keeper found Gallacher in great form diving to his right to push it wide. Devlin went close too with a deflected shot just going the wrong side of the bar.

McCord then played it through to Johnston with a delicious ball between the defenders and although it initially looked as though he'd mis-controlled the pass, Johnston smashed it into the bottom corner. This was truly deserved as there has only been one team in the second half.

With fifteen minutes left Forfar were thrown a lifeline when Airdrie's Grant was sent off for a second yellow card offence. Maybe this would spur Forfar on, and their manager was soon screaming instructions from the bench. Airdrie too were frantically trying to reorganise their back four.

Time ticked away however and the final flurry of activity revolved round an apparent clash of heads. This Forfar fan beside me was screaming that the Airdrie player was play acting, I merely pointed out that it looked a lot more than just play acting and that maybe the Forfar player had led with his head. This was ignored as more abuse poured from the bloke beside me and it took the intervention of a ten year old Forfar fan in front of us who turned to his fellow Forfar fan and announced 'have you not seen the blood pouring from his head, that looks like a wee bit more than play acting to me' to shut him up.

The game finished two one to Airdrie United and I don't think there could have been too many in the ground who felt that it wasn't deserved. Airdrie move level on points with Forfar and I look forward to watching them again this season, and to be honest there hasn't been too many games I've come away from thinking that.

The Statistics

Ticket: Free. Normal prices would have been £11 for me and £5 for him

Programme: £1.50

Attendance:

Pie: £1.00

Pie Marks: Initially a 8/10 but with 0.5 deducted for shocking supply failures 7.5/10 final score.

Man of the Match: Dad - Ryan McCord Me - Ryan McCord (Airdrie United)

Final Score: Forfar 1 v Airdrie United 2

Mileage: 152 miles

Fascinating Fact of the Day: Although called Station Park, the nearest railway station is in fact 14 miles from the ground.

Next Game: Links Park (Montrose)

Day Fifteen: St.Johnstone (McDiarmid Park)

St.Johnstone v Queen of the South

Co-operative Insurance Cup Round 3

Tuesday 21st September

It's back to the midweek cup games and getting picked up from work for me. It's been a tough day so I'm delighted when 5 o'clock comes and I can swipe out and meet my father outside work. It's a 7.45pm kick off but you'll all be aware 'Edinburgh can be a bugger for traffic at this time of night', I reckon we might be okay seeing as Perth is only 31 miles or so from here.

It's an easy drive up the road and right enough we turn into the car park at McDiarmid Park about quarter past six. They charge you £3 to park at the ground - 3 quid and you don't even get entered into the half time draw!!

We've got plenty of time to kill so it's a visit to the local supermarket for me and some tasty nourishment. Pay day was just the other day and as per usual anything with a money-off sticker quickly grabs my attention and it's no surprise then that I exit with more than just a ready made pasta dish. Anyone watched the latest Robin Hood movie?

After 'dinner' and the usual pictures we make our way into the ground. After previous experiences we've decided against sitting in the main stand. Fingers crossed for some singing and friendly banter. I like these cup games at SPL grounds as the price is a little less, £15 for me, £10 for him. Soon as were inside it's straight to the Pie Stand for two of their finest efforts. The finest effort is in fact a disaster. My dad actually considers asking how its possible to make a pie that is 'rock hard on top, yet completely greasy on the bottom and roasting like you would not believe throughout'.

St.Johnstone run out to The Skids tune 'The Saints are Coming'. Here's hoping that the game is as energetic as the song and with Queens up near the top of League 1 and the Saints near the bottom of the SPL these two sides should be evenly matched.

Two minutes in and a Grainger cross was headed narrowly wide by the Saints Davidson. St.Johnstone have a few ex-Chelsea player playing tonight, Michael Duberry - Doooobs as he's affectionately known by the home fans and Jody Morris are probably the ones you've heard of though. Dooobs is almost 35 years old, but he's completely in control in the centre of defense.

The next chance comes as a result of a jinky run and cut back by Williams and it takes a last ditch tackle by a Queens defender to stop the danger. This is appreciated by the surprisingly large away support. I've seen more away fans tonight than at any of the away games in the lower divisions this season, maybe with the exception of Falkirk fans in Dingwall. Those fans didn't have the old fashioned rattles with them like this lot tonight though, they make a cracking noise.

Unbelivabely we've sat in the only two rows in the ground that seem to be set aside for gossiping as the three folks behind us have obviously got a lot to talk about. I think we'll move at half time and try and concentrate on the football.

Most of the game was taking place in midfield and neither side carved out any real chances until the Queens keeper dropped a high ball at the feet of Liam Craig who smashed it high over the bar when it was easier to hit the target. Their big number 9, Perkin, was next not to make the most of his opportunity heading wide when he had time to take the ball down and shoot.

Up the other end, McLaren went on a great run leaving four defenders in his wake and Allan Johnston should have at least made the keeper work with his shot, instead it sailed well wide of the post. Colin Samuel, however, missed the best chance missing an open goal with a header from all of four yards.

The stadium announcer obviously wanted a pie or two at half time as he sticks on the full 9min 53 second version of Fools Gold by The Stone Roses and it finishes just as the teams run out for the second half. Not that I'm complaining as it's a cracking tune. Here's hoping it might have a ripple effect on both seats of supporters as we've yet to hear a song from either of them yet.

Shortly into the second half Saints are awarded a free kick right on the edge of the penalty box and after much deliberation it's Myrie-Williams that sends it high over the bar and as one punter behind us states 'it wasn't worth the wait'. The young winger was also unlucky five minutes later when the Queens keeper had to dive smartly to his right to beat away a good header.

We then witnessed an 'altercation' between two fans in front of us when after hearing a fellow supporter berate the Saints players a bloke shouted 'if you're no gonna support the team with positive comments, why don't you just shut up!'

Quarter of an hour into the second half and Saints were awarded a really soft penalty when a cross hit the arm of Reid and the ref pointed to the spot. Morris stepped up and sent the keeper the wrong way. This was the start of a crazy six minute spell as Queens fell apart. Substitute Haber, who in my humble opinion looked a good five yards offide, ran on to a through ball and one on one with the keeper made no mistake four minutes later. Two minutes after a fantastic ball from Duberry was flicked on by Parkin and Millar scored with ease.

Queens didn't deserve to be three down and must have thought their consolation goal was well deserved. Shame then that the linesman - who'd had a shocker all game - pulled it back for offside. There was to be no further excitement and it's St. Johnstone who progress to the next round. Here's hoping Aberdeen and Kilmarnock join them tomorrow.

The Statistics

Ticket: £15 (£10)

Programme: £1.50

Attendance:1,624

Pie:£1.70

Pie Marks: 6/10

Man of the Match: Dad - Michael Duberry Me - Michael Duberry (St.Johnstone)

Final Score: St.Johnstone 3 v Queen of the South 0

Mileage: 64 miles

Fact of the Day: McDiarmid Park was the first purpose built all seater stadium in Britain, built in 1989.

Next game: Station Park (Forfar)

Day Fourteen: Berwick Rangers (Sheilfield Park)

Berwick Rangers v Stranraer

SFL Division 3

Saturday 18th September

After a two week break for me, it's a cross border trip to Berwick-upon-Tweed to 'Ground 14' for the SFL Division 3 clash between Berwick Rangers and Stranraer. This is a first v second clash as both teams have started their league campaign unbeaten. It's some feat for Stranraer as back on the 1st August we witnessed them get humped 7 - 1 at home by Morton in the cup.

It's a unique starting time for me today as this is the only time I'll be picked up before a match, as it makes more sense to drive from my side of town to the ground. So I've been forewarned to be ready for a 12.45pm collection time. Just as well really as I had a bit of a late one the night before and am still brushing my teeth when the doorbell goes.

It's a quick easy exit onto the A1 and a straightforward drive south. Saturday afternoon on BBC Radio Scotland offers us the wonderful Off the Ball with Stuart Cosgrove and Tam Cowan. If you haven't listened before I recommend you give it a shot as it's always hilarious. One particular gem today was the story of a Romanian boy, aged four, who after watching a DVD of Mary Poppins jumped from his parents' fourth floor flat holding an umbrella. Don't worry he's okay just a few bumps and bruises. It's therefore okay to laugh - we did.

With such listening enjoyment, we've made good time and arrive at the ground about 2pm. Today is the first time we have to pay to park at the ground, well there is no other option really but the 50p charge does get us a ticket for the half-time draw and who knows what riches that could bring us.

I've missed my football fix over the last two weeks and results for Aberdeen haven't been that great, so I'm looking forward to a good game as we enter the ground. The pitch itself looks in cracking condition; the stadium not so. First thing we notice is that it's a Fish 'n' Chip van and not a normal pie stand offering up the local delicacies. This is never a good sign. The second thing is that there's a Speedway track running right around the side of the pitch. The Berwick Bandits race here, and if we'd known this we could have stayed for an evening's entertainment as they were racing at 7.30pm.

Before taking a seat in the stand we venture to the chip van for a pie. Initial doubts are confirmed when we're presented with a pie in a tray. Presentation wise mine doesn't look too healthy and I took a napkin it to try and sook up some of the excess grease. We take our 'nourishment' to our seat in the stand and are greeted by the fact that no matter where you sit there will always be a pole restricting our view. The opposite side of the ground is terracing only and I'm too old for that, so we stay where we are put up with it and try and enjoy the pie. Callum, just for you, we take a photo of the said pie for your visual enjoyment. You'll maybe get more out of it than we did. As my dad rightly stated ' far too greasy, the bottom falls apart in your hand and it's bloody roasting'. He was thinking five out of ten but we decided on a four and a half. Poor effort.

In the match programme I read the opening statement from the Berwick Chairman in which he hopes today's attendance is greater than last week's total of 441. Looking around the ground I'm not so sure and to be honest I can count only 11 Stranraer fans. It's a hell of a drive that's true but you'd expect more than that. We can also see a group of stewards on the touchline, nothing strange about that except they're about 50 years old and are wearing jackets stating they're part of the 'Rapid Reaction Team'. This surely false advertising.

The home team are first to threaten in this game, although Gribben and McMullan waste their chances. They're nearly nearly punished after 7 minutes when Stranraer's huge French striker Armand One make's a neat turn in the box and fired in a shot which Peat got down well to gather. The same man went close again with a good header was again well held by the keeper.

The home side went closer still on the quarter hour when Gribben, who's on something of a hot streak scoring two hat-tricks in the last two games, smashes his close range effort of the upright and O'Reilly mis-kicked with an open goal in front of him.

The game then descended into a stramash of long punts and mis-placed passes by both sides before a great through ball by Berwick's McLeod sent Gribben away. He turned the defender inside out and slotted the ball past the despairing dive of the keeper into the corner. It was all Berwick after this and they thought they scored a second about 5 minutes later but the linesman called it back for offside. Even so, if their strikers had been able to keep their heads, or recognised the better option was to pass instead of go it alone, they could have been three up at half time

During the interval we decided against another pie and settled in to wait to see if we've won the half time draw. It's back to work on Monday for me as ticket 03302 is not a winner.

The second half kicks off and the home team are still in control; McMullan forcing the keeper into a good save. I don't see a way back into the game and it stays this way until after a period of play in the Berwick box the far side linesman starts waving his flag furiously to draw the referee's attention. Whatever he saw no one else did, no Stranraer players get involved. The referee points to the spot and gives a penalty, he then walks over to Berwick's Notman and sends him off for a pull back on a striker. Gribben gets booked for booting the ball away in disgust. Agnew makes no mistake from the spot.

Finally the home fans show a bit of passion and let us hear their voices, still no singing though. When the home side make a substitution, a lone voice from the terracing shouts 'take off the linesman!!'.

Stranraer take the lead on 68 minutes, when an Agnew cross is stuck away by Winter. Stranraer have a few more chances to kill the game off and leap frog their opponents to go top of the table

Berwick are getting restless and the challenges are also flying in and the referee gives yellow cards to two more home players. It's ultimately down to the Berwick manager to play his hand throwing on Alan Brazil with ten minutes left. With a few minutes remaining Gribben makes a mazy run into the box, crosses it and there's Brazil two yards out to tap it home and earn his side a draw.

It's the correct result as both teams have had the chance to win it. True it took a intervention from the linesman to give Stranraer a way back.

As we're leaving the stadium announcer informs us that today's attendance was 489. The chairman got his wish, there were 48 more people here than witnessed the last home game. Onwards and upwards....

The Statistics

Ticket: £10 (£5)

Programme: £2

Attendance: 489

Pie: £1.80

Pie Marks: 4.5 /10

Man of the Match: Dad - Armand One (Stranraer) Me - Andy McLean (Berwick Rangers)

Final Score: Berwick Rangers 2 - Stranraer 2

Mileage: 110 miles

Fact of the Day: During the 1988/89 season Berwick Rangers were nearly bankrupt and were locked out of their own ground and forced to play at other grounds.

Next game: McDiarmid Park (Tuesday 21st September)

Day Thirteen: Queen of the South (Palmerston Park)

Queen of the South v East Fife
Alba Challenge Cup Quarter-Finals
Saturday 4th September (3pm Kick-off)

Today we're off to Dumfries for one of the quarter final matches in this season's Alba Challenge Cup. I've been summoned to report at 11.45am for the drive south. It's a yellow card for me however as it's nearer noon by the time I arrive and my dad's already in the car waiting for me.

We set off and my dad's decided to take us via Moffat for the journey to Dumfries. It's a beautiful day and a great road, one you'd like to drive down in a nice sports car, a road with lots of corners and bits that make your stomach go all funny.

We make good time going down the road and find our way to Dumfries by 2pm. For the first time this season, we're not going to park at the ground. Today we're going to meet up with my Brother-in-Law, Alan, and his mate Gary who lives with his wife and daughter in town. Driving through the town I see a public house called the Spread Eagle Inn - don't fancy a drink in there! Gary later tells me it's the only 'Celtic' bar in town, apparently there are four 'Rangers' bars. I didn't get to hear if any of them have a similar catchy name though.

We find the house and park behind my sister's car at the back and face a dilemma. We've got a pack lunch and don't feel it's right to take it in to Gary's home, so my dad reverses a little and we tuck into the food. My sister then calls and asks if we're close? I show my dad who's calling and look to him for advice. He carries on eating, I hold in a giggle and say 'yeah, we're close and we'll be about ten minutes'. Isla goes on to give me detailed instructions as we both keep eating, my dad's laughing by this point. I tell her 'we'll see her soon'. Five minutes later Alan walks out in front of the car just as I'm putting the bag in the back of the car. I think we got away with it.

The four of us then make the short walk to the ground, it's a lovely day and I'm excited to be going to watch the game. After eleven games I've come to realise I look forward to watching teams from the lower divisions more than their SPL counterparts. I think it's the atmosphere you get at these smaller grounds, the banter is more amusing and it's the chance to witness football without all the money, media and expectations.

Once at the ground I get Gary to take us round to the front of the stadium for a quick photo. Alan spots the home teams mascot 'Dougie the Doonhamer' walking by and the opportunity is just too great. I ask Alan & Gary to be in this week's photo and to ask Dougie to join in too, you can see the resulting photo above. Cheers to all three.

Gary asks my dad and I if we want to join him and Alan for a pre-match pint before the game in the club bar. I tell him it's not part of the ritual and we leave them to it. We enter the turnstile and pay, on the way the ticket attendant tells my dad he doesn't look like a senior citizen, my dad thanks her for the compliment. It's a great wee stadium, not only does it boast to having the highest floodlights in Scotland - which I'm sure is nonsense - but it does have the largest terracing in Scotland. I quite like the terracing, but have found that the view from behind the goal doesn't let you enjoy the game as much so we walk round to the stand on the far side.

I take a quick look at the time and see it's pie o'clock. I wander down to the stand and purchase two scotch pies, one for me and one for him. To me it looks not to bad, nae burnt bits and it's not all soggy; a couple of bites in however and it's a different story. As my dad quickly points out 'the pie is way too dry, it's not so good. I'd give this no more than six'. I don't even finish mine.

Alan and Gary join us about ten minutes before kick off. Gary, being the local lad, is full of information about the home side. The best thing he tells us is that the club have a raffle pre-season to decide on who the team sponsor will be for the coming year. As many as 250 local businesses pay £400 each to enter and the first place wins you the honour of getting your business on the strip, everyone else wins a season ticket. That's about £100,000 in the kitty for the Club. I think this is a brilliant business model, one that more smaller teams should get involved in.

It's a first v second division tie today and early on it's a pretty even contest. The home team have the first effort, a weak shot after ten minutes. Two good saves then deny East Fife the lead. Again, it's the small band of away fans that are first to sing, a common feature of the lower divisions, maybe it's because there's so few of them travel to away games.

East Fife's Scott Durie, son of Gordon, is the first in to the referee's book after a wild sliding challenge on a Queens player. East Fife are having too much possession for the four older gents sat in front of us and there's a lot of tutting and raised voices. All is forgiven after 32 minutes when a Weatherston cross fell to Paul Burns who struck it away from eight yards. Both teams had limited chances to alter the score before half time.

Normally we'd head off for a further pie at this point, but after eating such a poor effort pre-match we decide against a second (my apologies to Callum who was looking for photographic evidence of the pie). About two minutes to go, I nip down to buy a drink and as I'm waiting in the queue I hear the whistle for the second half to begin. As I make my way back to my seat, I ask an old gentleman to allow me to pass, just at that moment, the home team score a second. I feel bad as I've obscured this man's vision ands Alan makes me feel worse by pointing this out to all around. Thankfully I'm forgiven. I have to ask my dad if it was a good goal. He tells me it was great shot scored by Burns, that's two for him.

East Fife were still in the game and the keeper saved well from a Linn free kick and Young headed just wide from a later corner. East Fife substitute Ovenstone made an impact after only being on five minutes when he headed into his own net and the game was pretty much over as a contest. Queens made the fact that they are a full-time club show against their part-time opponents and passed the ball around well, McLaren and Holmes especially.

On 78 minutes Burns made sure he went home with the match ball by bundling the ball over the line after Holmes had lobbed the keeper. East Fife continued to try and play football and their player manager Stevie Crawford came on to try and stem the tide.

One of the biggest cheers of the game came when the home keeper smacked the ball out of the park. There was a lone pigeon sat on the top of the grandstand and for a second or two it looked as though it was going to get a smack in the mouth. It obviously had a better view of it than us, as he just watched it sail past.

The final bit of excitement went to Queens though as a Robert Harris free kick from the corner of the box was placed brilliantly in the top corner. It was a peach and pretty close to the best goal we've seen yet. The final whistle followed almost immediately to spare East Fife from further despair. In the end the score flattered the home team but they were the better side in the second half.

On a final note, walking back to the house I heard one East Fife fan chanting 'this place is a shithole', I almost fell over laughing as I reminded him he comes from Methill.

No football now for me until the 18th September, my dad is off however to follow his beloved Kilmarnock next weekend - good luck mate.

The Statistics

Ticket: £13 (£8)

Programme: £2.50

Attendance: 1,781

Pie: £1.50

Pie Marks: 6 out of 10

Man of the Match: Dad - Paul Burns, Alan & Gary - Robert Harris, & Me - Willie McLaren

Final Score: Queen of the South 5 - East Fife 0

Mileage: 161 miles

Fact of the Day: Queens have the largest terracing in Scotland.

Next game: Sheilfield Park (September 18th)

The Pie Report

So we're a quarter of the way through this great adventure already and it's only the 28th August.

After reading comments from Callum requesting photographic evidence of the various clubs' Pies, I've realised that the Pie Report is an important part of the blog. So I've decided to give you a run down, a top to bottom run down if you like, of those on offer so far. Next week I'll try and remember to take a photo of our half-time nourishment for you Callum.

Now these comments are based on my father's comments, so if anyone from any of the grounds is reading this, don't get too upset; unless you work for Hibernian Football Club, ya pie dodging tightwads!!

The Pie Report league table:
1. Aberdeen FC - £1.70

'The best yet'

8/10

2. Motherwell - £1.70

'The crust is almost perfect, temperature is spot on and the meaty based filling is not too salty'

7.5/10

3. Alloa Athletic - £1.00

'It is by far the best value for money pie yet but it's not quite a Motherwell Pie'

7/10

4. Elgin City - £1.30

'It is a good pie but it's not quite a Motherwell pie'

7/10

5. Ross County - £1.70

'The best pie yet'

7/10

6. Dumbarton - £1.35

'A good sized meaty based affair'

7/10

7. Annan Athletic - £1.20

'Marked down for the hard crust'

6/10

8. St.Mirren - £1.70

'A disappointing affair with a soggy bottom'

6/10

9. Stranraer - £1.20

'The crust is rock hard, it could probably sink a battleship'

5/10

10. Peterhead - £1.50

'Tiny, with a soggy bottom'

4.5/10

11. East Fife - £1.50

'Unusual with a Steak Pie crust and excessively salty filling'

4/10

12. Hibernian - £2.40!!

Can't give you a comment on quality as unbelievably at half time on the first game of the season, they ran out of pies at Easter Road.

0/10.

Day Twelve: St.Mirren (St.Mirren Park)

St.Mirren v Hibernian

Sunday 29th August (2.15pm Kick-off)

After the excitement and ultimate disappointment of yesterday's game at Pittodrie, I'll admit to feeling a little jaded this morning when I woke up and realised I was off to watch Hibernian for the third time this season. Which of their teams will turn up today - the lack luster team that fell down to Maribor or the team who played so well in the second half at Motherwell.

It's a noon start for the drive over to Paisley for the 2.15pm kick. We arrive at the newish St.Mirren park, situated a mere 300 yards from their old ground, Love Street, at about 1.15ish. We chill out in the car reading the Sunday Mail - that quality non-old firm biased paper. I normally like to spend time reading the sports section but can't stand the thought of reading about yesterdays game so I don't bother. It's good of my dad then to show me the pictures of his team celebrating their winning goal.

They've got a strange set up at St.Mirren whereby you need to buy a ticket before you get to the turnstiles. It's nice to see that my dad doesn't have to prove his age here. It's only once we're inside the ground that I realise we've forgotten to buy a programme. I approach one of the stewards on duty and ask if I can buy one in the ground, he kindly tells me that the programmes 'haven't been delivered yet but hopefully they'll turn up before kick off'.

We soften the blow by buying a pre-match pie. It's a disappointing affair with a soggy bottom, the worst SPL effort yet. No scratch that, at least they offered something unlike their opponents today.

We go to take our seat in the ground - which only has a capacity of 8,006 by the way and as my dad said 'it looks like it's made of Lego' - and find seat N 18 to be covered in pigeon poo. Some people say it's lucky to get splatted with this but we're taking no chances and sit elsewhere.

Looking round the ground we can see a few large flags up behind one of the goals in the St.Mirren end, one catches our eyes however. There's a Leeds branch of St.Mirren supporters, that's about a 450 mile round trip and pure dedication.

Thankfully the programmes have arrived and I buy one and on flicking through the pages see that there are four mascots at the game today, three for the home team and one for the away team. The youngest of which is only one and a half years old and, according to the programme, her favourite player is Garry Brady. During the warm up they all get introduced to the ground - ain't that sweet.

Whilst some of the Hibs players are still warming up the sprinklers come on and give them a pre-game soaking, seems a tad harsh.

After all this, the games pretty slow to get started but it's Hibs who are first to threaten from a Riordan corner but Sol Bamba's header is high and wide. St.Mirren are next to threaten after ten minutes when after Bamba held back Wardlaw, McAusland tries a speactacular effort from almost on the touchline.

Both sets of fans are in fine voice, but for some bizarre reason they've still got the P.A. system on. Eventually they realise and turn it off. Hibs have most of the chances in the first half and Riordan is unlucky to see his free kick float over the wall and just wide of the post. The ball rubs along the outside of the net and from where the Hibs fans are sitting they think it's gone in and start to celebrate, only to be shouted back down by the laughing home fans. Riordan has two further free kicks that are saved well by the keeper.

Wardlaw was then crunched twice in succession and both times the tackles went unpunished, much to the annoyance of the player, his team mates, the home fans and the Saints manager Danny Lennon, who's given a wee lecture from the fourth official and then the ref when he's still moaning. Minutes later he's even unhappier when Wardlaw gets booked for a wild kick at Bamba, 'revenge' stamped all over his challenge. The home fans are raging and give the ref a burst of 'You don't know what you're doing!'.

The game was still level at half time and we went for another pie. I'll have to cut down on the double pie ratio, it's not like I've got the six-pack stomach you see. We decide on moving seats as there wasn't much banter round about us in the previous half. We should have sat in the opposite stand as it's much more boisterous than the family stand we're currently in. It's a learning curve this trip you see, next time we won't make the same mistake.

The second half starts and it's clear to all there are still a few grudges as a result of first half challenges. Bamba and Wardlaw are the two main culprits, both of them show some good touches throughout the game though. Bamba is otherwise excellent at clearing his lines and has an eye for a good pass. Wardlaw plays the sort of Peter Crouch type of game, he's always flicking the ball on for others or holding the ball under pressure and waiting for team mates.

It's ultimately a challenge between these two that leads to the first goal. Bamba climbs all over the back of Wardlaw as they both go for a high ball on the half way line, yet again he escapes a booking. Brady takes the kick, it's flicked on and it falls to Craig Dargo, who makes no mistake and slots it home for St Mirren.

With half an hour there's still time for Hibs to come back into this. Nish goes close with a shot on the turn from a throw in, and Liam Miller hits the top of the roof with an effort that's not a cross or a shot. The Hibs fans are outraged to see that John Hughes solution to being a goal behind and with ten minutes to go is to sub their favourite player, Derek Roirdan. They then give him a louder burst of 'You don't know what your doing!!', they're braver than me having a pop at Yogi.

The game finishes one nil to the saints and this condemns Hibs to their second defeat of the season but lifts St.Mirren into the top half of the table. As I said previously, this is our third viewing of Hibs this season and at this rate they'll be phoning us and asking to stay away.

The Statistics

Ticket: £20 (£10)

Programme: £2.50

Attendance: 4,480

Pie: £1.70

Pie Marks: 6 out of 10

Man of the Match: Dad - Paul McGowan Me - Gareth Wardlaw

Final Score: St.Mirren 1 - Hibernian 0

Mileage: 84 miles

Fact of the Day: St.Mirren have the newest stadium in Scotland. They played their first game there on the 15th January 2009.

Next game: Palmerston Park (September 4th)

Day Eleven: Aberdeen (Pittodrie Stadium)

Aberdeen v Kilmarnock
Saturday 28th August (3pm Kick-off)

So the grudge match day has arrived, it's time for my team, Aberdeen, to play my dad's team, Kilmarnock. It's a case of top v bottom. Aberdeen's 100% record versus Kilmarnock 0% record in the SPL this season. It's only game 3 of the 2010/11 season mind so there's only the six points between us.

It's a big day for me and Emma too, seeing as this is the first time she will be joining me watching my beloved team. I don't think she's quite as excited as me to be honest, she'd have been happier if my mother had joined her for a shopping experience instead aha ha.

The three of us leave Edinburgh at 11.15am for the journey north to Aberdeen. It's only a 2 1/2hr journey to Aberdeen so we've given ourselves enough time to get there. Nae surprises there then. It's an easy drive although the roads are pretty busy up to and beyond Perth, it's unlikely it's hoards of Killie fans heading to Aberdeen though.

We arrive in the Granite city about 1.45pm and park up on the Esplanade beside the Kings Links Golf Course, this gives Emma her first glimpse at Aberdeen's ground. We sit in the car and have lunch looking out on to the North Sea. Those of you who know Emma will be well aware of her problems when it comes to portion control, this is something which my Dad manages to wind her up on by commenting that the standard of filling in the sandwiches 'is slipping'.

Anyway at 2.15pm we take the short walk to the ground. It's weird to wave goodbye to my dad outside the ground as he's off to sit in the away end with the other Kilmarnock fan. Emma and I take the opportunity to visit the Club shop as I've got birthday money to spend. Takes me ages to decide what to get - should I go for the home strip, away strip or the full body suit. In the end I settle on the traditional home top for me and a 'Stand Free' Aberdeen scarf. Once outside the shop I'm so eager to get the top on that it takes me 5 minutes to realise it's still got the bloody tags on it. What a chump!

We buy our tickets and take the long trek up to the top deck of the Richard Donald Stand. By the time we find our seats we find we're in the second back row of the stadium and we can see the whole of Aberdeen from our seats.

Kilmarnock, as per usual, seem to have brought only two busloads of supporters with them but I must compliment them on their singing voices as it sounds like there's about a thousand of them.

Aberdeen are quickly into their stride when the game starts and are first to threaten when Pawlett shoots straight at the Killie keeper after a nice lay back from Magennis. It takes a quarter of an hour for the away team to have their first effort with Hamill blasting a free-kick over the bar. Shortly after this we have the first substitution of the day when the referee decides the ball's too flat.

A Paul Hartley free kick is deflected in front of the keeper who spills the ball right in front of McArdle, who really should've scored. After seeing a good Aberdeen on Tuesday night I was expecting more from them and it was disappointing to see them revert back to the sort of football they were playing last season with lots of sideways balls and lack of urgency to play it forward.

Kilmarnock on the other hand were playing the ball over the top of the slow Aberdeen defence for their striker Conor Sammon and he almost scored when he broke free in the penalty box and his shot seemed to squirm under the dive of the keeper and McArdle had to clear the ball off the line.

The normally boisterous Aberdeen support are very quiet and even the Killie fans sing the 'Sheep-Shaggers' song fails to rouse them. It's not really turning out to be the great game I was hoping it would be for Emma's first visit. Fingers crossed we get a bit more excitement for the second 45 minutes and the Aberdeen fans find their voices. At half-time I take the time to sample the 'Pittodrie Pie' and it's not a bad effort. I can't however tempt Emma into sampling one of the vegetarian options available.

We take the opportunity to wander right down to the front of the stand to see if we can see my dad sitting in the away section adjacent to us. We can see him but despite some frantic waving, it takes a phone call to his mobile before he can pinpoint our position. Both of us agree that it's been a fairly dull game so far but he does give me his rating for the pie and surprisingly he's awarded it an 8 out of 10. I ask him if he's sure as this will take Aberdeen to the top of the Pie League, his response is 'yes, I realise this but you've got to be honest about these things'.

For the second half we move from up in the gods to the front rows of the upper deck. Aberdeen are again the first to threaten when Mackie beats two defenders in the box and shoots, a deflection takes it wide of the post and out for a corner. This finally rouses the Aberdeen fans from their slumber a fact that doesn't go unnoticed by the Kilmarnock faithful who give us a quick burst of 'We forgot that you were here'.

Kilmarnock come more and more into the game with some slick passing and great movement off the ball, Craig Bryson especially looks like a good player. This prompts the Aberdeen manager to try a double substitution bringing on Vernon and the 18 year old Megginson for Magennis and Maguire - the latter reacts by refusing to shake his managers hand and throwing his shin-pads to the floor like a petulant child.

With quarter of an hour to go Kilmarnock's David Da Silva plays a fantastic ball through to Sammon who finds himself one on one with the keeper, he shoots and Aberdeen's keeper does brilliantly to tip it round the corner. Aberdeen are holding on now and Kilmarnock look like a team at the top of the table and not the bottom. With ten minutes left Hamell lets fly from 30 yards and it looks destined to end up in the top corner only for Howard to fling himself to his right and tip it over the bar. From the resulting corner Mackie clears a Sissoko header off the line.

A quick break from Aberdeen sees Mackie burst into the box and just as he's about to pull the trigger he's bundled off the ball. I join in the thousands of Dons fans behind the goal in screaming for a penalty. The referee gives the right decision and awards a corner to Aberdeen instead. It really would've been a soft penalty.

It looks like the game is going to end up in a draw as the fourth official signals there will only be three minutes injury. Calamitous defending from the Aberdeen keeper however gifts the winner to Hamell with only sixty seconds left. A ball over the top of the Aberdeen defence and it looks like Meginnson will be first to the ball, he hesitates however as Howard comes rushing off his line and in nips Jamie Hamell to take the ball of them both and stroke it into the empty net.

There's no time for Aberdeen to get back into the game and when the referee blows the whistle for full time Aberdeen walk off to a chorus of boo's.

I look over to the Kilmarnock fans and see my dad jumping around like a 17 year old. I can't be happy for him obviously. I'm gutted, not only have we lost and we're no longer top of the table but I've just realised who's giving me a lift back to Edinburgh. True to his word he's waiting for Emma and I outside the ground with a smug grin on his face.

I can't really take this moment from him though as his team were the better side and on the balance of play probably deserved the three points. Revenge will be mine (fingers crossed) on November 27th when we go to Rugby Park for the return fixture.

Emma, who was supposed to be my lucky mascot, is barred from visiting Pittodrie as she's obviously a jinx.

The Statistics
Ticket: £22 (£16) - As a quick side note it was pleasing to hear my dad state that the turnstile operator asked to see his driving so he could prove he was actually an OAP.
Programme: £2.50
Attendance: 11,287
Pie: £1.70
Pie Marks: 8/10 - Top marks so far
Man of the Match: Dad -Ben Gordon Me - Craig Bryson (both Kilmarnock)
Final Score: Aberdeen 0 - Kilmarnock 1
Mileage: 258 miles
Fact of the Day: Pittodrie Stadium was the first stadium to feature a dugout, when in the 1920's Player-Coach Donald Colman wanted a place to take notes and observe his players without sacrificing the shelter provided by the grandstand.

Next Game: St.Mirren Park (August 29th)